


Feels || SeKai

by boos_pledis



Series: Writing Challenge Drabbles [4]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, Denial of Feelings, Drabble, Fear, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, Love, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Prosititue!Jongin, Prostitute!Sehun, Sex Worker AU, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, brothel, it's not that bad actually, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:41:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24195286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boos_pledis/pseuds/boos_pledis
Summary: Sehun doesn't want nor need feelings, but what does he get? Feelings.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Oh Sehun
Series: Writing Challenge Drabbles [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1742212
Kudos: 30





	Feels || SeKai

**Author's Note:**

> I know nothing about brothel's and I'm too lazy to research rn so here's what you get.
> 
> Hope you enjoy! Follow me if you want: [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)

Sehun watches Jongin's movements, watches the way the sheer fabric of his shirt barely hides anything and how he's _purposely_ torturing Sehun. There's a smirk painted across his beautiful lips and Sehun can't help but watch the way he licks at them with intent. 

Oh feelings, Sehun's worst enemy. Sehun's only ever had feelings for one other person in his life and that did not work out, hence why he now works in a brothel. He liked sex, he liked money, he hates feelings. That's why working in a brothel was the perfect thing for Sehun, no feelings at all, he has complete control over who he has sex with and most of his time, he gets a very nice amount of money every two weeks. This life isn't too bad and Sehun accepts it whole heartedly, this brothel is also a very fancy type of brothel and Sehun was handsome enough to make it in (of course he was, he knew he got the job the moment it asked for handsome men). 

He leaned against the door frame of his room, watching as Jongin, under the alias Kai, is getting ready to take on his next client. Jongin's talking into his work cell, provided on the first day to make requests and what not, but he's also staring back at Sehun, watching the way Sehun's observing his body and moving in certain ways that he _knows_ will affect him. 

Sehun moves his eyes away, he won't have another client for the night. He's tired and he's supposed to be going home soon, but with the way Jongin is hungrily staring at him, Sehun's not sure if he'll go home with a hard on or if he won't be going home for a while.

Jongin's _teasing_ him, continually _provoking_ him with his body. Though those who work at the brothel are supposed to be able to top and bottom, Sehun can't help but notice how much of a bottom he is, Sehun would know. It's almost like he screams sub energy, the way he's seductive, but _pliant_ , mischevious, yet _innocent_. 

Sehun's annoyed at the thoughts and scoffs once he realizes that he ended up staring at Jongin's body again. Jongin’s enjoying the attention, it's obvious in the way he sticks out his ass. 

Turning around, Sehun enters his room and he's closing the door behind him so he can get dressed and start gathering his items. As he's about to fully shut the door, there's a sudden force pushing back on it that surprises him. He opens the door and it's Jongin, staring at him with those brown swirls filled with lust and an unreadable emotion. 

"What do you want?" Sehun's always been blunt, he's not one to beat around the bush. He doesn't mean for it to come out as rude or anything, but it comes out the way it comes out. 

Jongin pouts at him. "Now that's no way to talk to _me_ of all people, Sehunnie." 

"No names, remember, Kai?" Sehun puts emphasis on his alias to prove his point. To protect identities and for personal reasons, the workers must have an alias, cannot tell their clients their real name, and aren't allowed to use the real names of the other works.

Jongin scoffs and crosses his arms. Sehun's reminded of a child. "Whatever, I'm not calling you 'Vixen', that's stupid. We're friends. I'm, like, your best friend." 

He's right, Jongin is his best friend, Sehun doesn't have many friends, he prefers to keep a tightly knit circle of special people and Jongin just so happened to be one. That's partially why he developed feelings for him, they started hanging outside of work and got really close. It was only recently that he realized his intense feelings for the other, which is also mostly why Jongin's teasing is _not_ appreciated. 

Sehun rolls his eyes. "What do you want?" 

"I just wanted to see if you would play with me before my next client, I'm feeling kinda lonely right now." Yes, they've also slept together countless times. That's what also sucked about their arrangement, they had 'sex without feelings' as Jongin insisted calling it. But there were major feelings, lots of feels whenever Sehun slept with him or kissed him or cuddled with him post sexual activity. 

"I'm not in the mood." Sehun dismisses. It's been a bit since they last had sex and Sehun is trying to keep it that way. After he recognizing his feelings, he's realized that sex isn't as enjoyable as it used to be if it's with anyone that's not Jongin. It still feels good and Sehun is still able to orgasm and cum ~~if he thinks about Jongin enough~~. It's sucks to not be able to do his job because of stupid feelings. 

Jongin bites his lip and steps closer, taking Sehun's hand and placing it on his chest. He makes sure that Sehun's thumb lands right on top of a perky, pink nipple. "Come on, I saw you watching me in the hallway. Just a small quickie before you go, babes." 

You see, Jongin also has this horrible habit of call Sehun "babes" without realizing what it does to him. Butterflies erupt in his stomach and bat their wings furiously, his heart starts a race against itself to see if it can get loud enough for Jongin to hear, a warmth blooms in his chests like the sun is shining directly on that spot, except it's not an intense heat, just remains the same constant warm temperature. 

But Sehun builds his walls higher and regains his composure, using the hand on Jongin's chest to push him away. "I said no, Jongin." 

"Babes," Jongin whines like a petulant child, "come on, you're never not in the mood. We haven't slept with each other in a while, just give it to me." 

Sehun slits his eyes and glares. "No, now leave me alone." 

Jongin scowls. "What the hell is wrong with you? You're being so weird, you always want sex." 

"Oh yeah? Well, guess what? I don't want it now." Sehun hates how rude he's being and his heart flips at the way Jongin realizes that there is something wrong with Sehun, which Sehun also hates. He points towards the door. "Go." 

Jongin's shoulder drop in defeat and he thinks he can see a hint of disappointment in his eyes. Jongin shakes his head with a small scoff and walks out, closing the door behind him. 

Sehun swallows down the lump in his throat. That was really hard on him, hard to keep in his feelings, hard to push Jongin away, hard to hurt the person he loves as more than what he should be.

~*~

Sehun laying on his bed. It's late at night and he can't sleep, his thoughts are overflowing with Jongin. Thinking about all kinds of things that have to do with him. Who he's sleeping with, who he's thinking of, what he's doing, how many clients he’s had today, what it would be like to hold him tight in his ar-

Sehun has to forcefully cut that thought off and instead of trying to go to sleep, he gets up and makes himself a cup of coffee. He sits on his balcony, the chill of the early morning air hitting him. He takes in a lungful of the crisp air, exhaling it as he tries to clear his mind. 

He watches the night sky and thinks about if he was a star. Would it be easier as a star? Or do stars having feelings too? Or do stars _want_ feelings? But isn't that want in itself a _feeling_? A star is abiotic, non-living, no thoughts, but do we truly know that? Or maybe the star itself _is_ a feeling; it’s burns like desire, shines like happiness, stays like numbness. 

Simply, Sehun is questioning the universe, unspoken challenges, thinking deep, insightful thoughts, ~~anything to get away from his thoughts of Jongin~~. 

Before he became a full time worker at the brothel, Sehun earned his degree in philosophy. They say those types of degrees don't do much for you, but Sehun had always wanted to be a famous thinker, like Plato, Kant, Confucius, to think so hard that he comes up with something that might change the ways of society or literature or even possibly the world. He's good at pondering and coming up with complicated, paradoxical things. He found most of his fun in stripping the complicated into a simple, easy understanding. He knew it was weird of him, but he liked what he liked and that was that. 

However, those dreams were crushed the moment his first love cheated on him with someone else. He ruined philosophy for Sehun. He was naive then, imagining life with his ex, the two of them becoming the great philosophers they always aspired to be. Now Sehun doesn't like thinking that much, it may be all he has at the moment, but he'd rather become a mindless sex doll that doesn't have to worry about anyone hurting him ever again than an actual person in the cruel society he lives in. People hurt people, and he doesn't want to end up hurt, he's afraid of the pain. 

If he were to date Jongin, he'd be throwing away all that protects himself and would inadvertently rejoin society. He'd rather be an outcast, a pariah, than trust that philosophy of love and allowing himself to get hurt. That's all love leads to, pain. Sehun wasn't going to receive anymore pain.   
  
"Damn, I wanted to sneak into your bed and surprise you when you woke up this morning." Sehun's startled out of his thoughts by a familiar voice. 

He turns so fast, he's close to getting whiplash and almost drops his coffee over the railing. "What the fuck are you doing here?" 

"I just told you, dummy." Jongin replies, stepping outside and going over to Sehun's side. 

"I mean...how, how did you get in?" Sehun asks in attempt to recover from the previous question, setting down his coffee cup so that there’s no accident. Right now, Jongin is unpredictable. 

Jongin nods his head towards the front door. "I know where your spare key is, Sehun." 

Damn it, he forgot about that stupid spare key. Note to self: find a better hiding spot. "Jongin, it's," Sehun squints through the window of his sliding glass door and catches the time on the microwave,"3 in the fucking morning. Why are you here, seriously?" 

Jongin does this thing, he licks his lips. Not the same way he does when he's attempting to seduce a client or Sehun, it's more nervous, anxious, unconscious. "I-I wanted to know why you're acting so weird." 

"I'm not, okay? So why don't you get off my case about it and go home?" Sehun easily brushes him off, building a stone wall between his feelings and the outside. He turns and stares over the edge, looking back at the stars.

Jongin sighs in disappointment or exhaustion, he can't really tell. "Babes, talk to me-" 

"Don't fucking call me that!" Sehun bursts, a crack in his wall inflicted by the nickname. He needs a stronger material for his walls, but Sehun doesn’t have the energy to slap on another layer of concrete on it. 

Jongin is looking at Sehun incredulously. "Why not? Why are you suddenly so defensive? You act as if you don't even wanna be around me."

"Maybe I don't want to be around you." Sehun agrees, his eyes looking everywhere but Jongin. 

"What the actual fuck? What is your problem, Oh Sehun?" Jongin is actually in distress, his hands in his hair and his eyes looking a bit teary from the glance that Sehun got of him. "First, you don't wanna sleep with me. Then you won't let me use my nickname for you. And now this? You basically telling me to go away?" 

Sehun risks another glance at him, but it's the wrong time because in that moment, Jongin looks like he's made some sort of break through. "You have feelings for me, don't you?" Jongin’s words are a delicate murmur that would’ve been carried off in the breeze if it weren’t so quiet between them.

The immediate fear that takes over Sehun face only answers Jongin's question, and he's suddenly stumbling further from Jongin. "How...how did you..?" 

Jongin takes a step closer. "It's happened to me before Sehun. At the moment, it's the only logical explanation for your weird behavior." 

"So why are you still here!?" Sehun yells for his own defense, for his own heart, for his sanity. "Shouldn't you be disgusted with me or something? Shouldn't you be rejecting me? You know what it's okay, I already fucking know." 

"First of all, Sehun, you don't fucking think for me. I think for myself. You don't have the right to assume anything about me and my feelings." Jongin replies, his tone annoyed. 

Sehun looks at him with a dead stare. "You're taking an awfully long time to reject me, just do it already, Jongin...that way maybe it won't hurt as much." He tacks on lamely. 

Jongin releases a frustrated scream that makes Sehun jump and suddenly there's an angry Jongin stomping towards him. He grabs Sehun's face rather roughly and crashes their lips in a hard, confusing, yet passionate kiss.

The two melt into the kiss until it becomes softer and sweeter, but remains confusing. They pull away after kissing for a solid couple of minutes and breath each others air, Jongin bumping his forehead against Sehun's gently. "Don't you know that I've been in love with you since, like, the first day you walked into that whorehouse?" 

"What?" Sehun breaths, his eyes peaking into Jongin's eyes with confusion. 

"Babes, I'm in love with you...but, I just, never confessed because you told me that one time that you don't do feelings or dating." Jongin brings his hands up and caresses Sehun's cheeks. 

Sehun exhales sharply. "I don't." He takes another breath. 

"Why not with me? Would you try for me, Sehunnie? I'll never try to purposely hurt you, I'd never want to intentionally hurt you, babes." Jongin closes his eyes, simply breathing in Sehun's breath and speaking from his heart. 

Sehun's next breath is shaky and he tries his best to hold back tears. 

Jongin notices. "I know, babes, I know you're scared. I'm scared too, no, I'm not even scared, I'm terrified. But I'm willing to do it if you are, I'm willing to risk it all for you, Sehunnie." 

Sehun closes his eyes and leans his head forward, kisses Jongin's cheek, the corner of Jongin's perfect lips, and his other cheek, before finally planting a light peck on Jongin's full, plush lips. 

"Okay, Jongin. Just for _you_." 


End file.
